Cupid Doesn't Help In A Trio
by tomboy-girl21
Summary: Edward's witty skeptism and Jacob's laughing, easy nature mold well for a while, and for a while so did Bella's quiet friendliness. But what goes up must come down. Oneshot.
1. Edward

Disclaimer: Obviously not, or the disclaimer wouldn't be here.

Enjoy

* * *

**Cupid Doesn't Help In A Trio**

_Brat_

Edward has gotten so used to being moved around because of his adoptive father's job that he's ceased to sulk about it. Instead he puts on an easy smile to his loving parents and tells himself that it's easier this time.

This time he knows some people, Rosalie and her brother Jasper and boyfriend Emmett. Except they're a grade above, a pessimistic voice reminds him. He ignores it and trudges over to the bathroom to tell Alice to hurry the hell up and, -no it does not take that long to achieve public decency.

_Red_

He's gotten used to the stares, mostly anyways. Really with a bouncing four foot something sister chattering away at a pitch only some trained animals can decipher and with his unfortunate penchant for attracting unwelcome attention, it's almost normal. But it doesn't make it any less annoying.

Gawking, blushing, getting lost around the school, missing lunch because he doesn't know the bell schedule (until Angela kindly gives him a copy of her's) he's more than glad that the day's over and he's waiting impatiently by Rosalie's car.

He spots Alice surrounded by a group of girls, hyperactive and gesturing towards his clothes and he knows that if he doesn't pull Alice away now Rosalie will flay him for the long wait that's sure to come when Alice gets involved in a conversation about fashion. On the other hand just because he's an antisocial reject doesn't mean she can't interact.

Nonetheless, he's about to go over and drag her away when he hears a muffled laugh.

He whirls around warily, having experienced this often before and his fist tightens involuntarily.

The student is tall, muscular and obviously amused. "Your new right?" the guy asks.

"I wasn't aware the gossip interested the male half of the school as well," Edward says curtly.

He laughs again and raises a hand in mock surrender. "You don't have to listen to the grapevine to know you're new. Only someone new would lean against Hale's car and not worry about being massacred."

Edward blinks and feels slightly sheepish. Had he gotten so paranoid that he'd forgotten what it feels like to have someone be genuinely nice to him?

Yes, he answered himself.

"If it was anyone else," Edward admitted, "But I know Rosalie."

The guy raises an eyebrow. "So do I, but that doesn't mean I'd try that."

He smirked, "Not if you'd helped her pick it out."

The boy's eyes light up. "You know cars?" he asks eagerly.

Ironically it's Alice who has to interrupt his conversation when Rosalie arrives.

_Mandatory_

When Rosalie drops him and Alice off, they walk (well he walks and Alice skips) inside their home.

Esme smiles at them over the still full boxes. "How was your first day?" she asks warmly as she pulls out a lamp.

"Great," Alice chirps before Edward can answer. She casts a sly look at him, "Edward even made a new friend," she adds wickedly.

To his horror he finds himself blushing.

The beaming look on Esme's face makes him flush again, this time with some guilt. How worried is she about me, he wonders. "That's wonderful! Why don't you invite him over for dinner one of these days," Esme suggests.

He's all set to say no, but finds himself unable to at the sincere smile on her face and mumbles that he'll ask.

_Sexuality_

"Doyouwanttocomeoverfordinner?"

"Huh?"

Edward sighs, "Do you want to come over for dinner some time?" he rushes on, "Alice let it slip that I was having a semi-decent conversation with someone and my mom," he cuts himself off when he realizes how pathetic he's making himself sound.

Jacob Black looks at him oddly. "Um, Edward," he tenses because Jacob sounds nervous and he prepares himself for the worst. "I'm flattered and all, but I'm straight," he pauses and adds, "Plus I sorta have a girlfriend."

He snaps his jaw off the ground when he realizes it's open and hisses out a vile curse of denial that would have made Emmett proud.

Instead of looking offended though, Jacob looks relieved. "Well that's good," he says cheerfully, "I was afraid that I'd lose the only decent gear-head around here for company because of unrequited affection." He stretches. "What time?"

He stutters out the time, surprised to find himself annoyed and amused at the same time and realizes with a jolt that in a friendship with Jacob Black, those will be recurring emotions.

_Tradition_

Esme and Alice share embarrassing stories.

Jacob laughs.

Edward despairs.

Carlisle smiles warmly.

_Favorites_

"Your mom's nice," Jacob said out of the blue one day.

Edward is startled, but agrees immediately.

He doesn't find out till later that Jacob lost his mother in a wreck when he was a child.

_Listening_

Even Rosalie will agree that if there's one thing Edward's good at, it's listening.

The more he likes someone though, the easier it is to listen.

He finds out that even though Jacob loves cars he doesn't want to turn it into a career, that he has a pair of older sisters who are twins, that he's walked into bars and never been asked for an ID, that he wants to visit Amsterdam and Monti Carlo when he gets older (Les Vegas is for amateurs), but mostly he hears about Bella.

Isabella Marie Swan.

She quiet and shy, but she's got a sharp tongue, she's on honor roll in a different school (the first part he says proudly, the second part woefully) she's a brunette, she loves reading, her family and his family are old friends and she ended up in the ER after confessing her feelings to Jacob (she tried to run away in embarrassment and ended up needing stitches.)

Edward knows he is a skeptical person, years in foster care have seen to that, but he knows from the way his tone warms and his eyes laugh when he talks about her that Jacob is in love.

So when Jake suggests that they meet, Edward agrees easily.

_Easy_

He can tell immediately that Bella is a private person, but he also sees she doesn't mind the least when Jacob hugs her tightly and gives her a kiss.

He feels awkward and he sticks out a hand and blurts out before thinking, "Jake's told me a lot about you."

She smiles shyly and takes his hand, "Mostly good I hope," she says with a little glance at Jacob.

"Mostly," he says crookedly, suddenly at ease and Jacob laughs guiltily.

_Rhythm_

Bella, like him, is content to laugh and listen as Jacob talks and teases. She isn't that loud, but she does have a temper as he's found out on numerous occasions.

The three of them find a natural beat to everything they do and Edward becomes rapidly aware that they are well suited for each other and Bella becomes one of his closest friends.

_Glance_

Much to their chagrin, Bella and Edward find themselves at a party. It loud, crowded and awkward, especially since they know the only reason they were invited is because of Jacob.

Jake hands them some drinks and slowly they find themselves appreciating the music and not even minding all that much when they're being constantly interrupted by people who want to talk to Jake.

Somehow though, on her way to the bathroom, Edward suspects Bella got lost and Jake is evading several advances. He's being nicer about it than he would, Edward notes. Friendly, but firm about it.

One girl, exceptionally brave (or drunk) is laughing at something Jake says and when he darts a discreet glance at the doorway for his girlfriend, she catches him off guard with a kiss.

Her advances are unwelcome and he notices distantly that Jacob seems to be in shock. Edward is startled out of his suprise when he sees Bella glance over in their direction. He's sure that she gasped, because her lips move, her eyes fall, and she stumbles back into the crowd.

Jacob has unfrozen and is pushing the girl firmly, no longer so gently, towards her friends. He looks toward Edward pleading and ashamed, but Edward shakes his head and mouths Bella's name.

Without even speaking they split up.

_Fluid_

In the end it's Edward that finds her. Hiccuping and drunk. He tries in vain to lug her into his car and call Jacob at the same time, but gives up after Bella drunkenly knocks the phone out of his hands.

He coaxes her into his brand new Volvo, a seventeenth birthday present form his parents and prays that she isn't a vomiting drunk.

When Bella kisses him out of nowhere however, the last thing he thinks about is vomit.

Instead he tastes punch and alcohol and something else that he thinks is unique to only Bella.

He kisses her back.

Later, he's horrified and disgusted that when he pushed her away, it's because she's drunk, they're in front of her dad's house, and in his car. The fact that she's his best friend's girlfriend doesn't occur to him till the drive home.

_Simple_

_Bella's home safely_, he texts.

_Thank you_.

Edward feels like vomiting himself at the sincerity, relief and gratitude he can feel emitting from Jake's simple reply.

_Knife_

The next day when they meet up, they're together, but there's tension everywhere. Bella won't look at him or Jacob, Jacob's hand keeps reaching out to touch her shoulder and faltering halfway and Edward wishes he looked older so he could order a Long Island Tea.

_New_

Slowly things go back to normal. Jacob is trying hard to fix what he thinks is his fault and Bella is able to look at them more frequently. Edward is painfully aware of things he hadn't noticed before.

Bella doesn't wear anything but chap stick, but her lips always look moist.

When she smiles her eyes darken.

The absence of her casual, friendly touches hurt more then he wants to admit.

_Kind_

Sometimes he catches Bella looking at him and he feels an ache when he realizes she thinks of that night too.

_Shade_

They are very similar, he realizes, he resorted to distancing himself from Jake out of guilt and so does Bella.

Jacob does not take this well.

He should have known even happy-go-lucky Black has his limits.

_Sober_

Bella is in tears again, and looking at him for comfort.

He wraps a comforting arm around and tenses at the burning heat he feels in his limbs. Without thinking, he leans in and neither come up for air for quite a while.

_Truce_

Jacob is trying, Bella is trying, _he's_ trying, but he's sure deep, deep down, they all know it's futile.

Maybe that why it's so easy to push the guilt away when he finds himself alone with Bella without meaning too.

_Cheer_

When Bella gets her letter of acceptance to Yale, it's _him_ she calls in her happy frenzy.

They both realize this half way into the conversation when Edward inadvertently says that him and Jacob still have a year to go before they can catch up.

She hangs up quietly.

_Lamp_

Determined he goes over to Jake's house to admit everything, his feelings, his guilt, the kiss.

Jake, for the first time in a long while, beams at him with that grin that stretches from ear to ear.

He forgets that Jacob is the glue, the one who's been trying so hard to keep them from breaking, and this is the first time _he's_ tried to do anything besides swallow his guilt.

"He's been moping lately," Rachel whispers in his ear as Jake scours the kitchen for something to eat. "Hanging out with a friend is just what he needs."

She smiles at him and Edward feels like a coward, because he know's he's not saying anything today.

_Mile_

What goes up must come down.

What's private, must go public.

Somehow, Jacob finds out.

_Déjà vu_

It feels almost like the first day of school, people are staring at him, whispering and he's stumbling along.

But this time, there's no friendly giant there to help him through it.

_Nature_

Bella comes to his house more frequently, in varying stages.

Angry, sad, hysterical, quiet, desperate.

But no matter how hard it is to bare, he's glad that she wants to share them with him.

_Idiocy_

Rosalie and Alice plan a surprise anniversary party for Carlisle and Esme.

Emmett, stupidly invites Jacob.

Jacob, surprisingly, accepts right away.

_Date_

Jake doesn't bring a girl. He brings an entourage. Their mostly boys from the rez his around his age, but a couple are girls.

He tries not to flinch at the relieved sigh Bella makes when she sees how each of the girls is specifically affectionate with certain males and that none of them are Jacob Black.

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**_x0x_**

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Review?


	2. Bella

Disclaimer: If I did own Twilight I would have rather kept the book on paper than sell it to be butchered on screen.

Enjoy.

* * *

**Cupid Doesn't Help In A Trio**

_Silk_

Bella is eight years old when her family moves back to Charlie's hometown and the first thing he does after unloading the van is drag them over to a welcoming barbecue at the Quileute Reservation. Renée, ever the social butterfly, lightens up considerably and is soon in deep conversation with Sue Clearwater.

There are a couple girls around Bella's age, but they're all older and prettier then her. So she hangs back and watches a tall girl bully and tease, finally blackmail a boy into being the princess in Royals and Dragons. 'No fair Leah,' the boy complains, but the tall girl just sticks her tongue out and pulls the twins (Bella can't tell which is which) over gently.

Bella watches them play and looks around for kids eight years and under, maybe she'll have an easier time talking if they're younger then her? But unfortunately there's only boys and they're all pushing and shoving and she keeps a sensible distance.

She's about to give up when something like onyx flashes in the corner of her eye and curiously peaks from her curtain of hair to look for it, and finds that the onyx is simply beautiful dark hair. The urge to touch it is so strong that Bella takes a deep breath and walks towards the owner of the hair (who is, unfortunately, a boy.)

"Hi," she greets nervously with a shy smile. "I'm Bella."

The boy says nothing.

She fidgets and finally blurts out that he has pretty hair.

(Unfortunately she says this rather loud and everyone even the adults, though they stifle their snickers better, laughs.)

Bella wishes that an earthquake would happen and she'd fall into a crack and suddenly two hands push and she _is _actually falling.

Suddenly she's swarmed by parents, Renée picks her up and dusts her off and she sees Billy (big and stern in his wheelchair) roll over and snatch his son by the arm.

_Hereditary_

Later when she's hiccuping at what happened (sure that everyone, including that jerk, will never talk to her cause she's weird), she asks why was he so mean.

Suddenly Charlie lifts her out from Renée's knee and rubs her back comfortingly, but doesn't say anything.

Finally just when her tears dried and she's falling asleep he whispers that Jacob, that's his name, and his sisters lost their mother in an accident a little while ago and that they're, especially Jacob, having a hard time dealing with it.

"What he did was wrong honey," Charlie rumbles in her ear, "But he's trying to get used to life without his mom and I don't think he can deal with anything else right now."

She nods softly and wonders if his mother had beautiful hair too.

_Rough_

Bella's cries, throw tantrums, does everything in her power to keep from meeting up with the people from the Reservation, but Charlie tells her in a firm voice that Bella has to be the bigger person cause she's older.

Indignant she huffs, but shuffles into the car. Bella has good memory for a child so she peers curiously out the windows when she sees that instead of the densely wooded area around the Reservation, they're headed to some place where she can hear the ocean.

Excited and curious, she forgets to sulk and asks where their going. Her parents smile, but don't say.

The water is a dark blue, almost silver and it's rolling softly towards the white sand.

Charlie and Billy, Renee and Sue, talk again and she tells them she wants to look around a bit, but she'll be very careful. She's careful not to attract attention and walks by the beach picking up sea shells.

"Hey."

Bella whirls around and almost falls into the sand, but she's pulled up by warm hands. She blinks then realizes that this is the same boy who made her fall before. She's still mad, but she feels a little bad for him too so she just stands there awkwardly, not sure how to approach him.

The boy opens his mouth several times, but nothing comes out. Finally he asks, "Do you want to see the tide pools?"

"What's a tide pool?" She asks back. He looks like he wants to roll his eyes, but doesn't and Jacob grabs her hand and pulls her further along the beach, over some roots and then stops and points to the big puddles of water that look more like holes and points down. Carefully, just in case he's going to do something mean again, she leans down and breathes a sigh.

The water is so clear she can see the light reflecting off of the little shells and fishes.

Jacob is so quiet that she almost forgets he's there until he says, I'm sorry.

Just as quiet, she says it's okay.

_Aladdin_

Renée has a check up and they drop her off at the Black's place. Jacob is in the back, getting something for his dad, so it's just the twins and Bella.

It's awkward the entire time, until Jacob comes back inside and raises an eyebrow at the quiet. He rolls his eyes and makes a ridiculous face and lets out a huge fake fart from his mouth that makes all of the girls giggle.

Jake smiles crookedly and asks Bella if she want's to see a movie, and sorry, they only have Disney classics (except Pocahontas).

"That's okay," Bella says softly, "I like Aladdin and the Magic Lamp better."

Rachel's? eyes light up and she says that that's her favorite too. Rebbecca? scoffs and says that Sleeping Beauty is way better, while Jacob says they're all wrong and that Mulan wins hands down.

Nonetheless, no matter how many times they've each seen the movie, they're completely enraged when Jafar unravels Carpet.

_Kiss_

Each times she goes over they watch a different Disney movie, today, much to Rebecca's pleasure, it's Sleeping Beauty. Much to the Black's amusement, they find out that Bella doesn't like scary things.

She squeaked when she saw Maleficent turn into the dragon.

_Planning_

Charlie is moving things out of the spare bedroom, it's tiny and Bella asks if they're going to have a visitor.

Charlie simply smiles.

_Month_

Finally, when her mother's belly grows bigger and she's positive it isn't her imagination, she asks timidly, if Mommy has a tumor in her stomach.

Renée shakes her head and tells her that in 6 months, Bella will have a younger brother or sister.

_Counting_

One day Charlie wakes her up and puts her in the back seat and he runs back into the house to get Renee and Bella is terrified when she hears her screaming.

They go to the hospital and they wheel Renee away and Charlie holds Bella tightly and at Harry's suggestion, he drops her off at the Black's

_Blind_

It's ironic, Bella will think that all she will remember from the night that took away a sibling, and a marriage, is how small the Black's house looks in the headlights and how scared she was.

But she also remembers Jake rubbing his sleepy eyes and holding her hand as she cries.

_Fear_

Six months pass and Bella is too scared to ask where her baby brother or sister is.

_Close_

The arguments come and she wonders if they forgot that she's there because she can hear everything, they don't even notice when she sneaks downstairs to go get the house phone.

She hides in the closet and calls Billy's house and asks for Jake please.

He answers and Bella immediately bursts into sobs at the sound of his voice and he asks, "What's wrong Bells?"

"I don't know," her voice cracks. "They just keep fighting and I don't want to hear anymore," she hiccups.

"Okay," he says and she can tell he's scrambling for something to talk about. "Dad bought a new movie, it's a people movie this time. Do you want to come over sometime and see it?"

"What's it about?" she sniffles.

Bella doesn't know how long they talk, but Jake never stops talking and she falls asleep with his voice in her ears.

When Charlie comes up stairs he almost has a heart attack when he finds out that Bella's not napping in her room. Luckily before he yells for Renee he has the common sense to look under the bed, behind the bookcase and in the closet.

He feels his heart break a little more when he sees his daughter curled up in a corner with a phone wrapped tightly in her hand like a stuffed animal. Gently, he picks her up and tucks her in, but leaves the phone in her hand.

_Hide_

For a while Bella doesn't hear an arguments anymore and she hopes it's over, but one night she wakes up to hushed yells and tears and she realizes they've been fighting at night.

Bella opens the door and sneaks downstairs for the phone. Billy's deep rumbling voice, irritated and sleepy picks up and Bella squeaks out that she'd like to talk to Jacob please. He pauses and holds on for a second and after a long while he tells her to hold on.

Jake comes on and they whisper to each other about random things.

_First_

It shouldn't come as a surprise, but Bella feels pure, honest shock for the first time when her parents explain to her what a divorce is and that they are getting one.

Bella, quite composedly, asks if she could please go over to Billy's house, she promised to watch a new movie with Jake.

Renee starts, but Charlie shoots her a look and says, of course honey.

She says hello to the twins and Billy and walks over to Jacob and tells him, she'd like to see a movie now please.

Jake puts it on and Bella manages to watch the first couple of minutes of Babe before she realizes that she's crying. Jacob hugs her tightly, so tightly she can barely breath in between the gasps. (The twins pat her head and squeeze her arm, but it's Jacob who manages to calm her down.)

_Ultimatum_

Bella is eleven when she finds out her mother wants to move away and she wants to take Bella with her. Bella screams and sobs and tries to run away to Jake's, but ends up getting lost and when Charlie finds her he tells her gently that it's her choice.

"I want to stay," she whispers, tears leaking out of her eyes at the thought of leaving.

_Tradition_

Since they go to different schools, Bella doesn't see the twins or Jacob as much as she'd like to, but movie nights are a solemn tradition. Now that they're 13 (the twins and Bella) Billy lets them see scary movies now. Bella gives up on avoiding them, since they seem to make Jacob laugh, but she still depends on him to tell her when to close her eyes.

_False Alarm_

In a hurried voice, Jake tells Bella to close her eyes and when she does she feels something light and soft press against her mouth. Her eyes fly open and the first thing she sees is Jake's grinning face. She shrieks and pushes him off the sofa.

_Unavoidable_

She tells Charlie in hopes of getting a scare out of Jacob, who seems wholly unrepentant, about what she did. His eyes go suspiciously bright and he says in a choked voice that he'll talk to Jake.

When Jake seems completely healthy and regret less, she huffs and tries to stay mad, but soon realizes that it's impossible for her to stay mad at Jake for long.

_Metal_

They're in the garage when Bella is stricken by an uncomfortable epiphany.

She checking over Jake's math homework when she stretches and catches the soft glint of his hair as he leans down to take out some offending object, and she notices that his hair is just as pretty as it was that day they met.

When they get ready to leave and Bella trips over air, Jake (pathetically used to this) catches her by the shoulders and cover her nose with grease when he tweaks it with his fingers and tells her to be careful.

Suddenly she feels a lump in her throat and notices with a start that Jake is _taller _than her now. She swallows noisily and as he looks at her curiously she realizes that ohmygod, her best friend is really good looking.

_Kryptonite_

This realization makes her avoid him for a week (the longest she's gone since she was ten) and is completely startled when Jake shows up at her house and demands to know why she's avoiding him.

She stutters out a excuse about school, which sounds pathetic to her own ears and trails off when she realizes that Jake's lower lip is actually trembling.

She pulls him down into a hug and mumbles out an apology. Controlled exposure will be good for you, she tells herself.

_Girls_

She should have realized that if she found out that Jake is sorta beautiful-kinda hot, so would other girls. Nonetheless when she ends up waiting an extra hour at the Black's because he has a date she's still surprised.

Bella hates surprises.

They get into the stupidest argument and Jacob demands what's her problem with Kelly. Bella makes a face at the name and says stiffly 'Girls are trouble, don't you know that Jake?'

He bursts into laughter and Bella feels her left eye twitch. Choking down the last of his laughs, he pulls her into a hug. "You're still my best girl Bells," he says, grinning.

Her face heats up and she whacks at him half-heartedly, mumbling that, that wasn't the point Jake.

"Good," he says, "Because I sorta lied."

For one breathless moment, time stops.

"You're my best girl, _after_ my mom and sisters."

When she hits Jake harder, she tells herself it's not because he made her age prematurely in emotional years.

_Repress_

If this is love, it's miserable.

She blushes constantly now, tenses whenever he comes near, her voice cracks when she tries to talk after he touches her shoulder or pushes back her hair and throws a tantrum whenever he stops doing them.

Jake doesn't go on dates that often, but when he does, she hates how jealous she gets.

And she hates how angry she gets when she realizes that chances are, her gorgeous best friend is getting asked a lot more times than he's accepting.

_Masochist_

Bella doesn't tell Jake how she feels, as much as blurt it out. At the movies no less.

Instinctively she tries to run away from mortal embarrassment and ends up running head first into the candy counter.

Luckily, the Rabbit is perfectly capable of driving Bella over to the hospital. Bella presses Jake's shirt against her head, glad that her long hair hides her blush. Whenever she peeks at him, she strives to keep her eyes on her face, which has amusement, concern, and something else entirely playing on his face.

_Climax_

They don't say anything on the ride back home. Bella mumbles an apology and Jake grabs her hand.

He kisses her stitches gently. "Wait for a reply before you decide to reenact those chick flicks you love so much," he laughs, his eyes dark with affection.

_Air_

Being with Jake is thrilling and natural at the same time.

"My Jacob," she whispers to him on day, the words fall from her mouth naturally.

The kiss her gives her is like being burned without the pain.

_Curious_

She knows Jake is popular, and she knows that the fact he has a girlfriend won't stop the passes that are probably made at him on a daily basis, but that's not why she listens.

Being with Jake is easy, she has friends and she loves Charlie and Renée, and she even loves Billy and the twins, but Jake is......

Listening to him talk is never boring and that's probably why the phone bills are racked up the way they are.

So she listens with interest when Jake tells her happily that there's another person who knows cars, _almost_ as well as he does.

And laughs when she hears Jake's sheepishly admitted assumpations about the new boy's sexuality.

(Hearing the invitation from Jake himself, she admits that it's easy to draw that conclusion, but she doesn't blame him in the slightest.)

She kisses Jake softly when he tries to mention in an offhand way that Edward's mom is nice.

_View_

Jake mentions Edward Cullen enough times that she asks him if she could meet him.

He teases her about her boldness, but agrees.

_Hello_

Bella is waiting by their favorite restaurant when she Jake come up (his height gives him that advantage) and feels the usual rush of adrenaline when he pulls her into a hug and kiss.

Edward is quiet, like her and they greet each other shyly. She asks if Jacob has said mostly good things about her, adding a small glare to Jake and suddenly he smiles crookedly and everything seems to fall into place.

_Track_

Bella doesn't mind sharing, but she's surprised at how quickly Edward becomes her friend. He's a smart ass, (though hanging around Jacob she should expect that), but he's also kind and a good listener.

_Shrink_

They become confidantes. Bella tells him that her deepest fear is Jacob realizing that he could do better. Edward assures her he can't and admits that he's always had a hard time making friends and that's why it's strange for him, how fast and easy his friendship is with Jacob and her.

She tells him she knows how he feels.

_Phone_

Charlie gives her a cell phone for Christmas, "In case you fall into a ditch someday and need to send out an SOS." (Sadly Bella suspects he's being serious.)

Nonetheless she is exstatic and Jake is number one on speed dial, and Edward is number two.

_Parasite_

Sometimes she worried, just how much of Jake's social life she leeches away, and finally Jacob invites her and Edward to a house party.

She agrees enthusiastically and elbows Edward into submission, but the awkwardness they feel when they reach the party is tangible.

But Jake's presence makes both of their quiet natures feel comfortable. Eventually though Bella has to use the bathroom. Finding it feels like such a victory, she feels like doing the pelvic thrust of triumph until she realizes that now she has to get back.

She stumbles, trips, bumps into people and finally Jake's tall stature is a beacon that she hurries to.

She doesn't see his face, but she sees _her_. And she feels her mouth open and her heart break.

_Light_

She's surprised at how easily she can get over the bitter, burning taste of alcohol, even welcome it.

She's angry and hurt, and somehow hoping that Jacob will find her, tell her that she's wrong, but it's Edward that finds her.

_Drive_

She remembers sneaking passed Charlie and collapsing on her bed, crying hard, curling into a ball. Her hand by her mouth as she shuddered.

_Clean_

She doesn't remember what's she's done until she brushing her teeth.

She remembers feel Edward's wiry, solid frame, she remembers his mouth moving.

But mostly she remembers the sensation.

If kissing Jake is like kissing fire, then kissing Edward must be like an addiction, because suddenly her mouth is burning and she badly wants to relive it again.

_Meet_

Jacob shows up, pleading, begging, explaining, almost crying. He tells her, there's only you Bells.

She believes and tells him, she knows it's not his fault. He tries to kiss her and she flinches away, his face falls and he hugs her instead.

Edward, her and Jake are sitting at their usual table, but everything is wrong, there are no easy laughs, teasing or talking. Everything is wrong. Bella stares at the table feeling dirty and ashamed, wanting to rage at Edward for kissing her back.

And at the same being glad that he did.

_Pace_

Jake is trying, so hard that she feel like crying. But she has to, she can't let him go through this pain. She tries to speak the words that she knows he needs to her, but she can't because she knows that it will bring him more pain. So she tries to swallow and does her best to draw firm boundaries around Edward.

There is a sting in her hand when she realizes she hasn't touched him in weeks. And an ache when she realizes that she wants to touch him like she did that night.

_Limit_

The guilt makes it hard to look at Jake so she tries not to.

Finally Jacob explodes.

"I know I messed up Bella," he yells. "But I love you and I can't take this from Edward and you too. I need you! Tell me what to do to fix this!"

She stumbles out form the garage and puts the truck into gear and heads anywhere, somewhere.

_Middle Man_

Edward hugs her and she jumps. When they kiss, Bella wishes she couldn't breathe.

_Scream_

When she gets her acceptance letter she screams in joy. Hugs Charlie and grabs her cell phone, hitting the second speed dial instinctively.

"I got in!" she shrieks, Edward laugh and they talk like they haven't in weeks.

Suddenly Bella realizes that this is the wrong person.

_Murphy's Law_

Jacob finds out.

She doesn't know how.

The pain in his eyes leaves her too numb to cry.

"I don't want to look at you."

_Halfway_

She has to call Charlie to pick her up when her eyes blur so bad she almost veers off the road.

He comes, still in his uniform, and she folds into his arms like she did when she was small and scared. Ironically Charlie is the first person she tells, she sobs it out, how it's not just the kiss, how it's it that she kept it from Jacob for so long, how he found outt that it didn't happen just once, how it's her fault, all her fault, that everything is so broken.

He lets her cry on his jacket, he doesn't judge and scold and she's glad.

She glad that no matter what she does he won't stop loving her because she's not sure if it will be the same thing with Jacob.

_Temple_

She goes over to Edward's house so much now that Alice jokes that she needs a key and that gets a weak laugh. As bad as she feels, having an easier access to Edward warms her .

_Symptoms_

Sometimes she feels bipolar and she hates it. She's angry, sad, desperate, depressed, she feels almost everything but happiness, and sharing it with Edward is the highlight of her day.

_Crutch_

She clings to Edward, to this last part of peace and warmth she still has, and she twists it, she warps it and she steals a little of his soul every time she sobs Jacob's name in his arms.

He should hate her. Jacob was his friend, almost a brother and she's not blind enough to notice that she's the only one who lost something precious, but she's selfish enough to be glad that Edward is as broken as her.

Because it means he needs her too.

_Anniversary_

Alice shows up one day with a beautiful dress and demands her to put it on. Shocked, Bella agrees and dresses according. Esme and Carlisle must notice that Edward is far from happy, and they are intelligent enough to draw the right conclusions that it's her fault. Despite that, their kindness never falters and insulting them by not showing up to their party is something she can't bare.

_Festive_

There are couples and romance everywhere, but for once Bella isn't reminded of anything about _that_. Today is about Esme and Carlisle and that makes it easy to laugh and smile and let herself be as close to happy as she's capable of.

Then Jake shows up.

It's the first time she's seen him in months.

He's taller then she remembers and more beautiful, but the first thing she notices is his eyes. They are just as dark, true, but black had never been flat on Jake, not like it was now.

He was in pain, and he was hurting.

The urge to go over to him and hug him was strong the she felt her nails break the skin of her palm and she held on to her fork tightly, as it was the only anchor to keep her from being submerged in pain.

_Lastly_

It is today that she realizes that she loves Edward.

She loves him.

And she hates herself for that. If she was a good person she break off this parasitic, toxic thing between them, this thing where they feed off each others pain.

Things might get better her and Edward, they might even be happy later on, but that won't change the reason why she loves him.

She needed Jacob Black because she loved him. She loves Edward Cullen because she needs him.

* * *

**_x0x_**

* * *

Review?


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